To summarize: The article above is an argument for gays to boycott straight weddings this summer because in all but five states, same-sex marriage is banned.
So I’m getting married this summer to a man, and I’m a woman. I went to a women’s college and there are gay friends that I am inviting, and I want them to be there.
I am an adamant supporter of equal rights for gay individuals and couples on the state and federal level, I believe that sexuality is mostly biologically determined, and I will gladly stand up any day and scream for equal rights.
But I’m still getting married.
The author argues that it’s not just the “crazies” that are the obstacle facing same-sex marriage, but also heterosexual allies:
“Even well-meaning heterosexuals often describe their own nuptials in deeply personal terms, above and beyond politics, but tend to dismiss same-sex marriage as a political cause, and gay people’s desire to marry as political maneuvering.“
I rebuke this argument. If you say that the desire for same-sex couples get married is primarily for political reasons, then deep down underneath the layers of what’s “PC” you’re not really an ally.
If you say that two individuals want to get married because they just want the tax breaks and other marriage perks, you’re most certainly not an ally.
The desire to get married is the same regardless of gender: to express your love, and to have the state and world recognize you as a partner in your lover’s life.
And yeah, you get some pretty damn good perks with it (heck yeah I’m happy about the tax benefits and the fact that I can visit Tyler in the hospital god forbid if he was ever in there).
So Mr. Benjamin, I believe you have it wrong on two counts:
1. Those heterosexual allies that would ever say that same-sex couples value marriage for its political benefits, are not allies, and yes, are an obstacle for same-sex marriage.
2. By boycotting straight weddings, you’re widening the chasm between gays and straights. You’re making it seem like we’re enemies and on different sides, when we really shouldn’t be. By not attending straight weddings across the board, you’re in effect saying, “Thanks, but you’re not really an ally” which is ridiculous.
Meaningful events like weddings should not be politicized, but sadly they are. Mr. Benjamin, I think we need to work to make them less political and divisive, not more.